Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Transitions

Since my last post too many weeks ago now, I have become pregnant for the 7th time.  Currently I am 16 weeks and have felt the usual fatigue and nausea though it is starting to abate now that I'm into my second trimester.  We are praying for a healthy baby and with all the girls we have together, it will be interesting to see what gender the baby is at my next appointment.  I have had to get used to being pregnant more so than with any of the others though I knew we would likely have another, it happened a touch sooner than I was prepared for.  I had hoped to find greater success with weight loss to have a better time with the pregnancy and possibly avoid gestational diabetes this time.  But I only made a dent and now have had to let it go for the most part though I am being more disciplined about my diet and testing my blood.  My husband, JR had been more than ready for me to become pregnant again and in all actuality this baby and HC will be the largest spread we have had with our children with 2.5 years apart.  HC just turned 2 and she is turning into a little kid though still so sweet and good natured.  I am savoring this pregnancy in case it's my last.  I will be forty about the time the baby comes.  It would be nice to move forward and focus on the children I have but I know another baby is possible since we will not get in the way of God.  I do plan to use the Fertility Monitor and charting (FAM) to avoid pregnancy.  I have two close college friends (both also from Franciscan University) who are also pregnant right now - each with their 9th pregnancy though each also suffered a miscarriage.  I have other peers who are having babies still and so I feel I have others around me who are in my situation having children into their late 30s and even early 40s.  

Besides this, I am also committed to homeschooling my full-time stepson, AJ who is 15 and entering 10th grade.  I never thought I would homeschool him.  I say this because he is the only one in our family in his age group, he is very social, he can be negative with his sisters (can be normal for his age) and because of our dynamic issue.  This last one is complicated but obviously the Lord has been doing great work.  AJ has been asking to be homeschooled and I see that the local school is not challenging him.  He got all As and Bs last term and he never had homework and he has learning challenges!  I first thought I might slide into public schooling at home but in looking at the wealth of curriculum choices out there, I became inspired to go my own way and will be doing the traditional homeschooling.  He has been working for grandpa at his business in town which offers him skilled training.  He'll be busy with that.  Our town is small enough too that he easily hooks up with his buddies.  I pray for the Lord's help in this for both of us and for his Grace.  

Having a teenager in our home mixed with little kids holds it's own challenges.  It is nice for quick babysitting needs and some help with household things.  But he is up later and I feel like my evening time is not my own anymore.  Also this age for him holds many lessons and takes much time and energy.  When he comes home from work or there's something with a friend and he shares about it, it seems there is always some kind of lesson in response which can include offering a shift in perspective.  We're fortunate AJ is so communicative.  He likes to be around the family rather than holing up in his room like most kids his age.  But again he requires his own care - though different from the little ones but still care.

In reading Consoling the Heart of Jesus I have tried to embrace humility and service.  I am working at letting go for peace within my heart and entrusting my cares and family to the Lord.  I know He can take care of any needs.  

I know I'm jumping around here a bit, but I continue to follow politics and hope and pray for God's mercy on our country.  I pray that truth can reign and we can have a new administration for the next term.  Honestly though, I have reservations about Romney but I have hope that they will not hold water if he's elected.  I do not want to see the current administration have four more years to continue to increase the deficit at such an alarming rate and take powers that is not theirs to make unilateral executive decisions.  I hold onto hope.  True hope - not the false hope promised four years ago.