Dying to self and the Word of God

This is something I have been struggling with for some time now.  I guess you could say that it's been just about three years since I have felt God call me deeper - back to Himself.  I grew up with a strong foundation but then my late rebellion (in my mid-20s) brought me to a place where it has now taken the better part of more than 10 years to bounce back.   I feel like I'm almost coming back to being more of my true self these last three years.  Through the mercy of God and His grace, I feel almost as if I'm returning to something like my 16 year old innocence and purity of heart.  He has called me to prayer and growth in the knowledge of His word and the power it holds.  St. Paul says in the following passage:

Hebrews 4:12

New International Version (NIV)

 ¹² For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 

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I have come to know the truth of this passage intimately.  I have completed several ecumenical, thematic in-depth Bible studies.  These studies have opened my eyes to see that the Word of God is truly the Living Word.  Scripture not only ties together stories or prophecies from one book or testament to the other but it ties into our modern and even our individual lives.  I have found that there is no power like that in the Word of God.  No words of our own, no paraphrase, and even at times prayers can be as powerful as Scripture in our fighting the good fight whether that be in our personal struggles or in our daily lives with others.  Think of Jesus as he was tempted by the devil in the desert.  He IS the Word of God made flesh and yet HE himself used His Word, the scriptures to combat Satan - and combat him effectively!  Should we not follow His example in our temptations?  My practical application for this is to be in the Word regularly - every day or most days and to know certain key passages that speak of God's dominion over my life and/or struggles or of His Love and faithfulness.

Still, I struggle with dying to myself.  I know we live in a culture where indulgence is glorified where any idea of mortification is puzzling.  But thinking again on Jesus in the desert, He followed the lead of the Spirit there and this is just after His baptism in the Jordan and just before He began His earthly ministry.  Doesn't this suggest the importance of fasting, penance and mortifcation in being useful for God to fulfill His purpose in us?  I read in an older version of Divine Intimacy that it can be so much easier to fall into the realm of mediocrity and God will allow us this.  We could have so much more if we were willing out of love to offer something - even a momentary something for Our Lord.  It can include a special intention for a loved one too.  One of the studies I did was on Paul and since I believe He is one of my patrons.  He has burdened my heart to pray for and try to actively reach others to know the Love of God.   He calls all of us to His Heart.  He is jealous for us and wants us to know Him intimately.  He can transform our lives - if we let Him.  A transformation that I have only glimpsed at but I know that is a glimpse of Heaven while still here on earth.  A glimpse into the connectivity of things in this world and between this world and the next.  An idea that there are far less coincidences than we think.  A reality that we matter in this world - even in the little things we do and even in our private alone times.  We can reflect God to the world sometimes in ways we can only imagine through eyes of faith.  God will use us to achieve His purpose if we let Him.  He will not give up on us.  He will work out all things for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28)