Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Girls, girls, girls and girls

Last week at my 20 week appointment, the ultrasound showed we were having a girl - another girl!  I have since become used the reality that I am a momma to all these girls!  What does God have in mind?  Well, so far I have come to see that my job preparing my children for their Christian adult life will be easier when the majority of them are girls.  AJ, my stepson is more than half raised and I am learning the joys and challenges of preparing a son for Christian adulthood.  Is it just me, or are boys more inclined to media?  I will find out in the years ahead though honestly I feel that I will have more opportunity to form my girls since I've had them from birth and also my role as their primary role model will make a difference.  (Though I am not saying anything about JR and his role here.) Oh, and homeschooling will be a big difference.  So many say to me that I will have my hands full when the girls are adolescent age (as Aidan is now with being 13.)  But I feel that homeschooling will reduce the drama and I pray that the relationships between me and them will be loving, respectful and solid.  I believe the relationships really could be all that.  I have been blessed with such a wonderful connection with all my girls...my heart overflows. 
With this news of another girl and considering my advancing maternal age (now 37) I am unsure if we will have more children.  In my heart, I still want to be open to having that boy of my own and to God's hand in creating life.  Never, will I do anything artificial to prevent...  But I am unclear of what my hearts' desire is.  And that's okay right now.  After all, I'm halfway through my current pregnancy and I don't have to decide.  JR would be open either way and I guess I am too.  Thinking about raising a household of girls is a special blessing.  I have much to share with them all and I pray for the grace and energy to be all that I need to be for them.