"Help me O Lord in my trouble, for worthless is the help of man." Ps 60:13

Today, I faced temptation to speak with my SIL about a real ongoing struggle I am having with my MIL.  I decided to stop and pray first before calling.  It was my normal prayer time anyhow.  I often pray with Imitation of Christ.  I usually go in order from one lesson to the next.  But this time, it opened to a section that started with the scripture quoted in the subject heading and was entitled, "On Not Being Too Credulous Knowing How Easily We Offend in Speech."  It didn't take me long to realize that I would not be making that phone call and would instead turn the situation over to God in my time of prayer  and ask for His insight and help. This section also spoke about offering up these temptations to God and how useful it is to resist our human tendencies to the cause of Christ.  Later another scripture, Matt 10:36 is quoted: "a man's enemies are those of his own household."  This was not coincidental.  The author also cautions the reader about confiding in others and trusting them with secrets and that it is better to remain silent about situations concerning other people.  I recently read something that used the phrase, "Divine Vision."  Basically this is seeing things through God and His grace that comes in being close to Him.  This includes our own failings, the faults of others, the stuggles of life etc.  I have thought about it many times since I read about it.  It also spoke about if we are close to God, we will better see the ways to help others in their struggles and also the more we become like God, that others will see God in us and  grace will flow to others to change and be more like Him too.  As I reflect today on Divine Vision and my own struggles, I feel comforted by the hope that God will continue to work in me, that His Grace will spread to others in my life and that He will give the sight which will enable me to help those close to me.  In the meantime, I work at letting go.

My story: Part 2

We recently moved from my home state to JR's.  His parents and his brother and family live here and we are now in the area not far from them all.  I miss my own family who are mostly back in my home state especially since my dad has health problems and my brother is having children.  In the past few years, starting before the big move, I began experiencing a renewed relationship with the Lord.  This mostly happened due to inter-denominational Bible Study groups using Beth Moore.  The Bible really became alive for me and I understood "living word" in a whole new light.  The studies have led me back into prayer and to my roots in contemplation.  I now find that I am drawn to such classics as "Imitation of Christ" and "Cloud of Unknowing" and general Christian classics such as "God Calling" which I use in my prayer time.

As for family life...it's definitely busy with three little girls and an older son.  I have felt drawn to a more simpler life where I can be better focused on my husband and kids.  Because of time spent with God everyday, I find that I am more able to handle the demands on my life and I am finding more balance.  I recently have decided to home school my little children and am considering it for AJ.  I plan to spend the next year getting equipped and doing some preliminary and basic forms of homeschooling in the meantime.  I have peace about this decision.  I want to spend the days with my children where I can offer them formation.  I feel that school can challenge this process in our children where they are faced with too much unsupervised peer focused pressure and where little or no formation is offered.   I want a family-focused family and not so much emphasis put on friends and activities.  Having some friends and activities is healthy and good though.

I continue to love to cook and sometimes with a little Salsa music going.  :)  I am regular person who is pursuing God for Himself and for His Grace to flow in me and my household.  I look forward to having a secret, safe place to share my daily musings, reflections, struggles and joys.